Feelings of Failure

Failure. Ouch! Even writing or reading the word failure fills me with a visceral feeling of dread. The sting of the tears that well up in my eyes as I process the emotion of it all.

The last month has been a month full of triumphs and wins. Small milestone wins in an attempt to get to some significant moments in time.

The month of January was a BIG month for myself and my family. Similar to the rest of our community we did our best to duck and weave, avoiding COVID in hopes of seeing out our summer holiday plans. We managed to stay healthy and finally (after various attempts in the last twelve months) made it to the Gold Coast where we would begin planning another major goal for ourselves.

After a week away enjoying the ocean air and sunshine on my face, I returned back to Melbourne to continue ducking and weaving so we could tackle the next challenge. Finding a rental property and moving house in under two weeks. Once again, with the odds stacked against me, I did it! I hustled and worked hard to secure a lovely rental home for myself and our family, and we moved in just days before the school year began.

But it wasn’t just the school year beginning that made this point in time stressful. I had a major product launch planned for my core business Organise.Curate.Design. One that I had been planning since September last year. Launch week started on the thirty-first of January and finished on Monday the seventh of February.

So here we are, launch week is done and I’m contemplating my relationship with failure.

This feeling has almost derailed me, after months of planning and hard work and genuinely giving everything I could to the launch of our new product, it simply didn’t hit the mark. Was the launch a complete failure? No. Did we make some sales? Yes. But did I want to cry when we didn’t quite get to where I’d hoped we would be? Also yes.

I’ve read too many insights on failure and how it is the journey, not the destination that we are meant to focus on. But all of those insights do not remove the heart of it, the part that hurts when we may not be good enough.

Today, I’ve begun to shake off the feelings of not being good enough. I’ve rested and I’ve focused on my values, reminding myself that I have shown up with full integrity and given everything I could. And that is how I am enough.

Life is short and I want to embrace the journey and the destination. Then I want to start another adventure. The plan is to have as many adventures as I can before it is all over.

So I ask you, what does failure mean to you and will it stop you from starting a new adventure?

I’m off to take a really complex route on my next journey as I prepare to publish my memoir next month. There is no time to dwell on my failures, today is the day to take another step forward.

I can’t wait to share more with you next month. Until then, take care.


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