This month marks five years of my new life, five years since I chose to disclose my lived experience to family and friends and, in turn, to you, a member of this wonderful community I have built around me. During this time, I have had many challenging moments and some significant growth and development, but at times I have struggled to find the language to articulate what the past five years have meant to me, or how I currently feel.
I recently heard the term Post Traumatic Growth, and it sparked my interest. We hear the term “Post Traumatic Stress” often, especially when the word Disorder is added to it. PTSD in some ways has become common language, used in social settings so casually that the enormity of this type of stress and how it impacts many of us with lived experiences of abuse and trauma is somehow forgotten.
Though similar to how I speak about carrying all of our lived experience, I have found the concept of Post Traumatic Growth to be a beautiful partner to Post Traumatic Stress. Because more than one thing can be true. And in the dark times – the heartbreak, the pure grit of surviving – there is also growth.
When researching the concept of Post Traumatic Growth, I found a few articles that referenced five key pillars. And after sitting with them for a while, I can see how each of these pillars has played a role in the past five years for me.
Personal Strength
Personal strength was a non-negotiable foundation for me at the beginning of 2020 when I chose to estrange myself from my parents and disclose my experience to my younger sister. This strength has seen me go on to disclose to family and friends, self-publish my memoir, speak publicly about my lived experiences, and now work closely with survivors to support them as they venture on their journey. In some ways, the days are getting easier, but I know that my strength will continue to support me as I always choose to do the right thing, even when it is hard.
Close Relationships
Creating my island was an important part of setting boundaries and surrounding myself with people I could trust as my life unfolded before my eyes and I began to rebuild from the ground up. Some of those earlier relationships have changed, and there are new people in my life whom I’ve welcomed into my space, but the boundaries and values have remained the same. It’s wonderful to have a deeper appreciation for what relationships and community mean to me and to be in a place where I can trust people again.
Greater Appreciation for Life
As my mental health improved, so did my want and need for a better quality of life. Moving to a new location, focusing on my physical health and well-being, and truly wanting to live instead of simply existing have become central to my days. Gratitude has woven itself into the fabric of my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined and I can truly say that I love my life as it is founded on truth, purpose, integrity and gratitude.
Spiritual Development
I lost faith in a higher power as a young child. Growing up going to church, I couldn’t understand why a god I was supposed to worship could let such horrible things happen to me. Over the past year, however, I’ve found a new connection to spirituality – not through organised religion, but through understanding energy, and connecting with the divine through meditation, breathwork, and grounding practices. This reconnection has brought me a sense of peace I hadn’t known was possible.
New Possibilities
2025 feels like the continuation of a life reborn. Each day brings new opportunities for exploration, creativity, and growth. I approach life now with childlike curiosity and wonder, embracing the unknown as an adventure rather than something to fear. My new purpose is unfolding in ways I never anticipated, and I’m excited to see where it leads.
As I reflect on these five years of transformation, I invite you to explore what Post Traumatic Growth could mean for you. Each journey is unique, but the pillars – personal strength, close relationships, greater appreciation for life, spiritual development, and new possibilities offer a beautiful framework for discovering what’s possible after trauma.
What does Post Traumatic Growth look like for you? How might you begin to explore these five pillars in your own life?
Let’s walk this path of growth together.
The possibilities are endless, and the journey is ours to create.
